If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
