Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I still have a little drunk in my system
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
