Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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