it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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