I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
