HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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