Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
