Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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