I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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