O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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