yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
