It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
