im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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