i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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