hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
