are you still at the devil's house?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We left the knife in your bed.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
