I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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