i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize