You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
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