I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
