i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
