you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Randomize
