i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
