I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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