he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i love accidental penises.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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