I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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