Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
