our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
