What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
