drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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