I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i think i have two assholes
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
