sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Watching her eat just hurts me
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
