she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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