Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize