after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
