please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
