There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
