dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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