4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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