O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
