I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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