So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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