I want to stick my p in your. b.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
