You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
