i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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