i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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