girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
