i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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