Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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