Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
