She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
