shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
How external is "for external use only"?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
