At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm too high and old for this...
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize