I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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