Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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