omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Randomize
