left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
