Where are you?
In a non slutty way
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
