problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
