Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
