We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She's the barista slut.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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