meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I want her autograph on my taint
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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