I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
