In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
