Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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