new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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