I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
